Why Mental Health Week can make you feel like crap, and a big Big Feels update

Delicate Dynamos! Graham here.

So this week was Mental Health Week around the globe.

Well-meaning as it is, I often find Mental Health Week can feel like a big, bright spotlight on my softest spots. I think it's that, even when we’re trying to help, we still put so much emphasis on what’s wrong with people. Watch yourself for the signs. Identify the problem.

The thing is, for those of us already feeling crappy about ourselves, this just ups the stakes even more. That casual ‘check in’ with yourself becomes more of an anxious self-interrogation. ‘Shit am I ok?? Or am I fucked?’ Because sometimes it feels like there’s no option in between.

I was chatting about this conundrum with our feelings overlord, and she came up with this:

We have a new idea for our collective social awareness calendar: 'Your Feelings Make Sense Week'. Here's a wee bit from an article I wrote on The Spinoff about why Mental Health Week makes me feel like crap, and what to do about it:

“In Your Feelings Make Sense Week, we won't ask the question ‘are you ok’, because for us sensitive souls that question is far too loaded with the potential for judgement. That’s a question for another time.

Your Feelings Make Sense Week isn’t about finding a fix or an answer to why you feel like shit. It’s about hearing from other people who are asking the same questions. It’s about feeling just a little bit less lonely in that big beautiful brain of yours.”

If you’re here for the words about the feels, check out the rest of that article here. If you’re interested in what else Big Feels is up to (including the book clubs), keep reading!

This issue, we thought it high time we give you an update on what Honor and I have been up to, and what’s coming down the Big Feels pipeline.

Let's get social! Without leaving the house! (woop!)

Until now we’ve been keeping things on the d/l, but word is getting out about what we’re up to, so we’ve taken the plunge and set up our Social Media Presence™.

Our hope is that these become places for y’all to add your two cents about what comes up in the newsletter, as well as chat directly with one another about #FEELS.

Having popular social media pages also helps us get the word out to other people, and makes us look more attractive to funders, so even if you’re a chronic lurker (like me) joining up would help us out big time.

Join our Facebook here (#feelings and dog gifs)

Join our Instagram here (#feelings and lovingly curated images)

Join our Twitter here (#feelings and bad puns)

Hey what about that book club for feelings?

Holy wow are people keen on this!

We’ve been running a book club for feelings in Melbourne for the past few months. It’s a little experiment, where we look at different ways of making sense of the messy stuff of being human, and throw around ideas about what it means to be a sensitive soul in this world of ours. (Oh and there’s snacks. Lots of snacks.)

The feedback we’ve gotten is, well, extremely positive! People seem to find the book club to be a new kind of space - where they can connect with others about their feelings, without it having to be about their ‘problems’.

So naturally we thought - how can we make this available to more people, in more places?

We set up a form on our website where you could let us know if you’re interested, and so far we’ve had a buuuunch of people from all corners of the globe say they’re keen.

This torrent of interest of course prompted Honor and I to freak out and have a collective moment of ‘what the hell are we doing, we’re just two people from the internet???’ (That day is now marked in our calendars as Big Feels Panic Day. Very on brand.)

Good things are happening (slowly, slowly)

Then we had a cup of tea and called up our friend Jess, Eternal Source of Upbeat Calming Good Vibes, who reminded us that this is a Good Problem to have. Lots of people keen on what we’re doing, and an opportunity to test our ideas with them.

So we took a step back and thought: how can we offer people opportunities for connection and discussion, in a way that’s #sustainable? And how do we do it slowly, so that we can make sure people have a great experience?

We have a few ideas already. We’ll be rolling them out in the next few months for you lucky early adopters to test. Your feedback will be SUPER valuable as we look to build something really useful for our fellow free-range feelers - so keep watching the newsletter for updates!

In the meantime, hop on the social media pages for a chance to chat with fellow clubbers. You’ll see us both there too!