Does everyone find life this hard?

Ever feel like you have to dress up in office drag just to make it to work? Or that parties are actually a form of socially-sanctioned torture (just with better snacks)?

Do you feel like even your impostor syndrome has impostor syndrome??

You my friend just might be what we at the Big Feels Club call: a sensitive cat.

If so, you have most definitely asked yourself the following question at some point in your life:

Does everyone find life this hard?

Chances are you’ve asked yourself this question more than once. (In fact, any self-respecting self-doubter has asked themselves this question more than once today.)

Asking big, urgent questions like that may even be how you found this post in the wilds of the self-help internet - in that time-honoured tradition of modern-day confession: the Google search bar.

As the randomly chosen (and hugely unqualified) spiritual guide that Google has assigned you for today, I have good news and bad news. Let’s start with the bad news. I don’t have any answers to your questions. Are you the worst person in the world? I mean, probably not. It’s statistically unlikely! But that won’t stop you thinking you’re the worst now will it?

We can quote the many studies that suggest you are not the only person who sometimes finds life difficult for no good reason. How feeling anxious and depressed are highly common human experiences, for instance. Or how ‘impostor syndrome’ is actually so typical that - in some studies at least - most people feel like they’re about to be found out for how useless they really are. But…

It’s not as simple as saying ‘everyone finds life hard sometimes’ either. Because we’ve all got that friend or colleague or sibling(!) who just seems to sail through difficult stuff with way more grace and poise, right? Some of us do genuinely struggle more than those around us seem to. So how do you make sense of that, without just thinking, ‘I’m a loser’?

Well, here’s the good news. When it comes to these big, urgent questions our brains throw at us with such pressing existential force, sometimes it’s not about finding ‘the answer’. Sometimes ‘the answer’ is finding other people asking those same big questions.

So, we made a thing, just for those of y’all wrestling with this big stuff. It won’t tell you whether or not you’re the worst person in the world, but it might help you feel a little less crap about how much of a grip that question has on your brain sometimes.

Want to hear from other sensitive cats also wondering aloud if other people find life this hard? Want to hear what it’s like to have not only a sibling who is better at life than you but an actual goddamn identical twin?? All this and more in the first episode of the Big Feels Podcast: ‘Does everyone else find life this hard??’

With the help of a few members of the Big Feels Club, we dive into the following big questions:

  1. What’s one thing you find harder, because of your feelings?

  2. How do you make sense of that without just thinking, ‘I’m a loser’?

  3. Where did your idea of normal come from anyway?

Click here to launch in Apple Podcasts, or search “Big Feels Club” in your podcast app.

Or click play on the player below to listen to a little extract right here in your browser.

Self-doubtingly Yours,

Graham.

The Big Feels Club is for anyone trying to make sense of the life + feelings equation. More ramblings from us over here.